Sunday, 21 August 2011

The one with MY HIJAB JOURNEY.

Warning: This is probably the most emotional, personal post I've shared so far so bare with me okay :')

I truly believe in the saying "Everything happens for a reason". So many things, events lead to my decision to wear a hijab that April morning. So I'd like to start with South Africa. 

1) South Africa 

For those of you who don't know, my father is a diplomat. What is a diplomat you might ask? Well, a diplomat is a person appointed by a state to conduct diplomacy with another state or international organization. ( Is that right Papa? I got it from Wiki. haha) So because of that, we travel a lot. ( Will share my travelling experience nanti nanti k?) Anyway, so one of the places we were posted to is South Africa. 

Since I was studying in Uitm Segamat at that time, I could only come and see my family once a year. (which explains why in my previous post, my Raya 2008, 2009 pictures had no family potrait) So I was really sad when we parted. I mean, who was gonna keep them company? Help my mother in the kitchen? Play with my sisters while my older sister and I were away? Then, came the boys. 

The boys studied at a Madrasah an hour from where we lived . So during the school break, some would come and stay with the Malaysian families. Since our house had plenty of room, many of the boys stayed at our house. I remember thinkin how awkward it was gonna be for my family when the boys stayed there. I mean, they were all pangkat Ustaz, Maulana and dressed in jubah, how would we ever connect? relate?  
My father in the middle, with some of the students who stayed with us. 

Looking at that picture, one would assume the things that I assumed before. All they probably do is just stay in the room and mengaji and all. Boy was I wrong! These boys were so full of life, so very NORMAL! 
U see, I bet you can't tell that these are the same boys in the 1st picture. 

So to cut the story short, I judged them based on their looks which was wrong. If some of you are reading this, I'm truly sorry. Thank you for taking care of my family all those years, my brothers :) I also thank these boys because they are also one of the reasons I wore my hijab. 

Because of you boys, you taught my parents so many things about Islam. You opened their hearts and then they opened up mine. <3

2) My older sister, Raihana Yazmin

Yazmin was the first to wear the hijab. My parents have asked us to wear over and over again and everytime we'd say " Nanti nanti, we're not ready yet" Years passed and nothing changed so it got up to the point where my parents were probably sick of waiting, so they started forcing. 

You know the feeling where you were about to do something then someone tells you to do it? I hate that feeling. For example, baru nak semangat kemas bilik, then Yazmin asks me to. It just annoys the crap out of me. I wanna do it because I wanna do it, not because you told me to. So yea, this applied for the tudung case as well. I fought my parents long and hard with tears rolling down my face screaming that I wasn't ready. While I was crying and fighting, Min stayed quiet the whole time. When my father finally asked her why, she said she was ready to wear. 

And so she did. I knew she wasn't ready at that time but she did it for my parents sake. But now I can see that it was probably the best thing that happened to her. To us as a family.Yazmin was always so stylo. I loved her fashion sense and she would just look nice in anything. Wearing the hijab was no exception, she looked more elegant and just effortlessly beautiful. 

Lawa kan? Plus she looks so much younger pakai tudung. *jealous* 

So yes, looking at Min and seeing how confident she got after she wore, it just really opened my heart. I saw the change in her and I knew it was the right thing to do. 

So on that April day, we were all getting ready to go to lunch at Saba Restaurant in Cyberjaya. Everyone was waiting in the car for me. I walked out the door wearing the hijab and didnt look back since. 
Yes, I know agak buruk sikit la I pakai ni. haha. Whatever. Hello, newbie! 

So now that I finally started wearing the hijab (Alhamdulillah) It was time to figure out my style. *ayat poyo* 
So will be posting up pictures from that moment til now :)

I know, I know. Tudung tak betul. -__- (With bestie, Lina) 

Haaa, okay sikit kan? lol. 

Lina and I. Check out Lina's style! She also helped me while I was struggling nak pakai tudung. Thanx bish! *hugs*
From left: Yazmin, Mother ( Yes, thats my mother, not sister. ceh ceh) and Me.

Err Min? The camera is here. 

 Handsome and I.
Ria and I
 Bayi Yaya and I :)
 At Changi Airport enjoying my frozen yogurt.
 Off to Vivo City.
Orchard Road. 

And the latest picture I have of myself is with Handsome..

So there you go. Ada banyak lagi tapi I'm sure this is more than enough. Haha. 

Will conclude this super duper long post soon! I promise! Sikit je lagi. I just wanna share that this is probably the biggest and and best change that has ever happened to me. Being as great as it is now, it was honestly really scary in the beginning. I was so scared people couldn't accept the "new" me. So afraid people would suddenly treat me differently. Including Handsome. 

I remember thinking that if he couldn't accept me the way I am now, then I had to let him go. Cause I knew that what I was doing is right and no one could tell me otherwise. Alhamdulillah he liked my new look and supported me. Now dia yang semangat, giving me pics of new hijab styles, pictures of Hana Tajima. (haha adorable gila kan?) 

So, my advice to my sisters out there that are still not ready, I understand. I really do. If your not ready to wear, then take your time but mind you, time waits for no one. When I told my mother I wasn't ready to wear the hijab dulu, she asked me " What if you never get the chance to? What if Allah takes your life before your ready?" but Alhamdulillah, I got that chance and I pray that all my sisters all over the world get that chance as well. 

In conclusion, (Finally!) Thank you Allah for giving me this chance to share my experience. I'd like to thank my family who helped me grow to become the woman I am now, so thank you Papa, Mama, Yazmin, Iris and Ria. I love you all so much. *teary* 

Now I'm a butterfly. 


  1. Dewi....
    Im so proud of you. Allah knows best what kind of feelg I have while reading this post. Syukur Alhamdulillah He gave us Hidayah before it's too late :)

    Me (^_^)

  2. Khairun: Thank you so much :') Im so happy I got the chance to share all this. Hopefully it can help others open their hearts as well. May God bless you Khairun. Lots of love <3

  3. lovely post my dear. keep it up. this is what im talking bout. your chance to spread the beauty of life. im really proud of you. im sure your family will feel the same *tears* <3

  4. Thank you so much sayang. Your a big part of my life. Your love and support means the world to me. <3

  5. now i get it... first u were a Caterpillar right??- from iris

  6. Thanx for all ur support! *tears*